FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE

FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE

by

Christine Phillips

December 13, 2011

I have a lot of children. Only two are biological. After that come the “children of my heart,” the people in my children’s lives who visit so often they no longer have to ring the doorbell. They just open the door and walk in. They practically live with us. I love them just like they’re my own flesh and blood. They include my son’s best friend, whom he’s known six years, and my daughter’s best friend, whom she’s known for ten years.

Joining the ranks of “children of my heart” are my children’s significant others. They don’t yet feel comfortable just opening the door and walking in, but that will come with time. They know they’re part of the family.

My son’s girlfriend has made such a big difference in him. He used to wear all black, and he seemed to never want to talk to anyone. It took a lot to make him laugh. Now he wears colors, makes conversation, and laughs readily. They recently went out and bought promise rings. They’ve made a commitment to save sex for marriage. I think that says a lot about the kind of people they are.

My daughter’s boyfriend is the best thing that’s ever happened to her. He sings to her, massages her feet, teaches her to dance, surprises her with little gifts and flowers, and really makes her feel loved and appreciated. There’s a saying that goes, “When a man treats his woman like a princess, it’s proof that he was raised by a queen.” This young man’s parents taught him well. He is the kind of man she needs.

Then there are the “extended family” members: my children’s extended circles of friends and their significant others. I encourage my children to invite their friends over for movie nights and game nights as well as for holiday gatherings. I like to hear their voices and laughter filling the house.

My children have learned, and are still learning, good social skills. They are so unlike me in that respect. When I was in school, I saw my friends only in classes. I was always the shy kid who was easy to ignore and forget, or ridicule and bully. I didn’t go to dances or parties. I didn’t date. I was socially inept. I didn’t even stay after school for clubs because I lived too far away from school for anyone to give me a ride home. I learned to keep to myself. I spent so much time alone, and I was very lonely. Things haven’t changed much since then. I still feel like that socially inept kid I always was in school. I find it easier to hide behind my computer, pounding the keys, than to make conversation with other people. I don’t know how to sustain lasting friendships. That’s why I am so glad that my children are surrounded by friends. Their lives are turning out to be much happier because they are surrounded by friendship and love. In the end, that’s what matters most.