I've just been informed that my son and his fiancée have found an apartment and will be moving into it in March. Twenty years of seeing his smiling face every day, and now I have to let him go. I knew this day was coming. He's grown up now. But he's always gonna be my little boy, my only (biological) son, whom I love so dearly. And even though their apartment will be close by and I can visit anytime, it'll still be sad to not have him within arm's re ach. *Heavy sigh* And then, in about eight months, my daughter will be getting married. I'm gonna be all alone! Pardon me while I have a nervous breakdown... Lord, where are you leading me? There are so many changes happening in my life already this year that it makes my head spin. It's easy for me to let the changes make me anxious, but I have to trust God to get me through them. "Lead me on, lead me up, lead me higher and higher, Holy Spirit, to Your perfect work in me. Let Your love, let Your joy, let Your peace and Your kindness, let the fruit of Your Spirit flow through me." [Lyrics from a song on my "Cam Floria's Continentals/Continental Country" album (1981)]. ... yes, I'm ancient and I still have my vinyl records and record player. meh. Isn't it paradoxical how I'm a Christian, I write Christian fiction in which my characters go through faith-strengthening trials, and yet I struggle daily with physical and emotional issues? I frequently have to remind myself that I'm not perfect just because I'm a Christian, and being a Christian doesn't mean I won't have to deal with struggles like these. Struggle is a part of life, and that pertains to everyone, Christian, non-Christian, and whatever faith you are. Like my characters, I am going through a faith-strengthening trial and trusting God to get me through it. It doesn't mean my faith is weak. It doesn't mean God doesn't care. It just means I'm growing and getting stronger. So because of that, I thank God for the trials and view them as opportunities for learning and growth. Who knows? Maybe later down the road, I'll meet up with someone who's going through the same trials I'm going through now, and I'll be able to impart words of wisdom from my own experience, and also provide guidance and support.. I can relate to what the Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12 about his visions and the “thorn in his flesh.” Paul never disclosed exactly what the “thorn” was. Maybe it was an illness or affliction of some kind. Mine are rheumatoid arthritis and depression (among others). Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NIV): “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” I wouldn’t say, “I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.” No, I want them to cease and desist! But I agree with Paul: “For when I am weak (in the flesh), then I am strong (in spirit) because of my faith in God’s power to guide me and lead me through. This is for His glory.
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