MY LIFE AS A SINGLE MOM

MY LIFE AS A SINGLE MOM

by

Christine Phillips

November 30, 2011

I’ve been divorced since 2007. At first, the resultant emotional turmoil and subsequent depression made it difficult to find a job and keep it. There were long periods of unemployment while I adjusted to my new life as a single mom. I’ve known the shame of being on food stamps and Medicaid because I couldn’t afford to buy food or prescriptions. I’ve known the disappointment of having to do without things I wanted or needed because I couldn’t afford them. I’ve known the humiliation of having to ask family members and friends for financial help and the guilt of knowing they had to make sacrifices to help me out.

I don’t have a degree, not that I haven’t tried to earn one. Nor do I have an interest in filling out yet another FAFSA or applying for yet another student loan I’ll have to repay for the rest of my life. Since 1984 I’ve tried to find a college major that was a good fit. I’ve studied music theory and composition, vocal performance, business administration and management, paralegal, and English literature. I have a natural talent and a passion for writing. I’m good at proofreading and editing. I want to use my imagination and write novels. I want to have a newspaper column. Just let me use my God-given talent to support myself. The subjects I’ve studied, along with my life experiences, should count for something.

The holiday season can be a difficult time for an unemployed single parent on food stamps. It’s frustrating to have no money to buy something special for my kids to find under the Christmas tree. The older they get, the more expensive the items on their wish lists become. With money they earn from their jobs, they can buy almost anything they want. I still want the satisfaction of watching them ooh and ahh over something I bought for them.

Then there’s the dating scene. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of dates I’ve had since my divorce. My former husband has remarried. I’m still single. Seeing my eighteen-year-old son and twenty-one-year-old daughter with their current significant others causes me a mixture of happiness for them and a longing to experience the same joy. Dating websites promise much but, in my experience, deliver little. Most of the men I’ve encountered on them were sex-starved and hunting for their next conquest. I’m more interested in finding someone who will cherish me, show me unconditional love, and be my lifelong companion. It may seem foolish, but around this time of year I start hoping to find my soulmate under the Christmas tree. It has yet to happen, but that doesn’t keep me from hoping. Like Snow White, I anticipate the day my prince will come. If he treats me like a princess, I will know he was raised by a queen.

My life as a single mom is preparing me to encourage, pray for, and support others who have the same experience in the future. I can be grateful for this time because I know God makes all things work out for good.